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CSI:Cyber Achieves New Heights of Overwrought Handwringing in a Killer Sex Toy Episode

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I’m surprised it took this long to incorporate the greatest Grandma fear of them all-death by doing sex stuff online-into CSI:Cyber‘s roster of tech habits that can kill you. But here we are! It’s the sex toy malware episode, and it’s just as preposterous as I’d hoped.

“Corrupted Memory,” has the gang investigating a murder that happened to take place while the victim, a young woman (of course) named Isabel, had her webcam turned on. Her parents watch her get stabbed to death, just to add an extra layer of nightmare onto the scenario.

The webcam is the only apparent tech connection when this supposedly choosy and elite division of the FBI decides to get involved, and I guess the writing staff tried to make up for the flimsy justification for the Cybercrime Unit’s involvement by piling on the techno-crimes later in the episode. Not only is our victim’s computer infected by malware from a sex toy, it’s also infected by a second type of malware that allows an unknown voyeur to watch all of her webcam conversations.

“It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that she was exploited by two totally different hackers, a sex toy sicko and a dial voyeur?” DB asks, reasonably. Avery shuts him down, saying that the victim was “high-risk” because she was young and pretty and “online risk taking” just because she used a vibrator and talked to her family on a webcam. Right.

Krummy and Nelson figure out that Isabel’s neighbor is the webcam voyeur, and for a while it seems like he might be the killer, too. Avery hypothesizes that he’s fully addicted to the internet and he has deluded himself into believing the random strangers he watches on the webcam are his family. But she’s wrong! As I’ve stated many times before, Avery is bad at her job!

The killer is another guy entirely, whose motivation we really never learn. It’s an example of the wrong way to do plot twists. Instead of surprising viewers, the twists muddled the episode so much it felt disjointed and half-baked.

This episode did contain the line “She’s downloading the computer,” so I do need to reward it a few points for being stupid-entertaining instead of just stupid-stupid.

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